List: More bumper stickers

• The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
• Born free...taxed to death.
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
• I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
• The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
• Earth first...we’ll mine the other planets later.
• How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!
• Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
• Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
• Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question.
• Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Submitted by reader S.P.