List: Modern defintions

Algorithm

\al-go-rhythm\ Tempo with which the ex-Vice President does the Macarena

Arbitrator

\ar'-bi-tray'-ter\ A cook who quits Arby's to work at McDonald's

Avoidable

\uh-voy'-duh-buhl' \ What a bullfighter tries to do

Baloney

\buh-lo'-nee' \ Where some hemlines fall

Bernadette

\burn'-a-det' \ The act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize

\bur'-gler-ize' \ What a crook sees with

Colin Powell

Nickname of Doctor Powell, the prominent proctologist

Control

\kon'-trol\ A short, ugly inmate

Counterfeiters

\kown'-ter-fit'-ers\ Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

Define

\de-fine\ What de judge levels against de defendant

Dick Cheney

\dik-chainy\ Series of tiny metal links encircling the male organ during kinky sex

Eyedropper

\i'-drop-ur\ A clumsy ophthalmologist

George Bush

The pubic area of President Washington

Heroes

\hee-rhos'\ What a guy in a small boat does

Left Bank

\left' bangk' \ What the robber did when his bag was full of loot

Marc Rich

What Samuel L. Clemens' parents boasted when he received his first royalty check for Huckleberry Finn

Misty

\mis-tee' \ How golfers create divots

Parasites

\par'-ih-sites' \ What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

Pharmacist

\farm'-uh-sist \ A helper on the farm

Polarize

\po'-lur-ize' \ What penguins see with

Primate

\pri'-mate' \ Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

Relief

\ree-leef' \ What trees do in the spring

Selfish

\sel'-fish' \ What the owner of a seafood store does

Subdued

\sub-dood' \ Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man

Sudafed

\sood'-a-fed' \ Brought litigation against a government official

Submitted by reader M.B.