Non-euclidian geometry and Trader Joe's parking lots

The Daily Parker patch release is (probably) ready for deployment to Production, but I'm going to let it stew in the dev/test environment for a few hours. This is mainly because it's 21°C on the last Sunday in October (shout out to everyone else in the world who changed their clocks today!), so Cassie and I want to go to the dog park. The dev/test environment isn't the only thing that's cooking: I have a batch of pasta sauce in the slow cooker.

Before I go, the Chicago Tribune has ranked all 22 Trader Joe's parking lots in the Chicago area on the eve of the new store opening in my building:

A Trader Joe’s parking lot, typically, is crowded. Spots are tight, and there are rarely enough. All vehicles, big or small, get limited room to maneuver — in fact, the tempers of anyone who decides to park here will rise in inverse proportion to the snugness of the lot itself.

Navigating one on a Sunday afternoon is to be thrust into Tetris. One Instagram user compared the experience to solving a Rubik’s Cube, “except you’re colorblind and in a straightjacket.” Ernie Wong, president of Chicago’s Site Design Group, a landscape architecture firm known for its work on the Riverwalk, the Old Chicago Post Office, Pioneer Court at the Tribune Tower, and plenty of Chicago parking lots, told me: “I drive to Trader Joe’s on Roosevelt, and I hate that parking lot. And yet I will do it! I mean, I do do it! I feel I am a patient parker, I wait my turn, but look, it gets stressful, so I wonder: Is there a value to the amount of stress Trader Joe’s parking lots create in me?

The Lakeview store on Lincoln Avenue (No. 16), the first Chicago location, somehow manages to be both welcoming and cramped — weekend standoffs here between motorists vying for the same space have been known to involve crying. ... Rational thought has no home in the Evanston lot (No. 21), which is microscopic, self-contained and only accessed amidst traffic flying down Chicago Avenue. ... Still, absolute hell on Earth, the final boss of Chicago-area Trader Joe’s parking lots, the true pit of despair, is found at Trader Joe’s off Clybourn Avenue in Lincoln Park (No. 22).

I should point out, this is on the eve of a new Trader Joe's opening in my building, possibly within the next two weeks but almost certainly before Thanksgiving. I have seen where the Joes have marked out parking spaces in the former residential lot on the bottom two floors of our 3-story garage, and I am afraid. I have a feeling getting in and out of my own parking space on the third floor will not be fun during opening hours.

Still, it'll be great to do my grocery shopping without going outside this winter...

OK, dog and man are off.